Story-time, excellent!

But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds. Psalm 73:28

So I am still struggling with writer's block. I am on vacation currently, sitting in a screened-in porch in the cool mountains, sipping coffee and trying to feel inspired.

Years ago, I used to write endless streams of stories about God. Now, I often feel I don't have many stories to tell. But I realized something today: For me personally, I need to be continuously writing to feel near to God.

One of my biggest desires in life is inclusion. Being included is the easiest way to make me feel loved, while being excluded is the fastest way to make me cry. I once took a test measuring our need for certain aspects of life. On the section for "inclusion", I scored a 12 on a scale of 1-10. The person giving the test told me, "You have such a high need for inclusion you will never feel included enough in this life. Only in heaven will you ever have all that you want." How is that for motivating a longing for heaven?

One of the ways I feel most included is when people share things with me, especially "insider information" - hopes, dreams, details, feelings, stories. I think it is the same with God. Way back when, I used to feel He shared so much with me. I felt like I was a part of His inner circle. And when God told me stories, I couldn't help but tell the story to someone else.

When my writing winded down, the stories seemed to taper off. I'm not sure if God stopped sharing because I stopped forwarding them, or He's still sharing and I'm not noticing. This is probable, since I often have my eyes and ears more open to stories when I am looking for my next story to tell.

Either way, I need to write. Because no matter the reason, writing stimulates the occurance of God's stories in my life, and God stories make me feel included, which makes me feel loved by God, with makes me feel near to God, which makes life "work". As for me, it is good to be near God.

The question now is how to start to write when I haven't yet got a story to tell. Hm...

Writers Block

A blank piece of paper is God's way of telling us how hard it is to be God. Sidney Sheldon

So, I have writers block. More accurately, I've HAD writers block for awhile now as evidenced by the gaping maw of time between my last blog and this one. Friends have tried to encourage me to write (thanks Sarah and Carla!) but I just haven’t felt inspired in the slightest.

Someone once said "If you wait for inspiration, you're not a writer, but a waiter." Perhaps that anonymous person chose to remain nameless for fear of being tarred and feathered by an angry mob of frustrated writers. A braver Jack London seems to agree when he says, "You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club." J.B. Priestly breaks it down a bit more: "If all feels hopeless, if that famous 'inspiration' will not come, write. Go to your desk no matter what your mood, face the icy challenge of the paper - write." And finally, Louis L'Amour sums things up: "If you’re going to be a writer, the first essential is just to write. Do not wait for an idea. Start writing something and the ideas will come. You have to turn the faucet on before the water starts to flow."

With those wise words swirling round my noggin, I'm recommitting to cease waiting for inspiration and simply start typing. Please forgive in advance the first few pumps of "stagnant water" about to flow...

Can I Get A Mulligan?

I was born a writer. I became a Christian in 2004. Soon after, the main subject of my writing narrowed to God. God is the epitome of a muse. Every time I saw Him work in my life, or in the life of others, I saw the story and I had to put it down on record.

There have been months when so much was happening I became breathless with inspiration at every moment. Other times, His resonance seemed less obvious. I had to actively look for God to find Him. But I looked, and I found, and I continued to write. Then I wandered into what St. John calls a "Dark Night of the Soul" - where God seemed far, and I felt lost. And my eyes failed, looking for my God. And instead of continuing to follow empty leads and writing about the sadness of the search, I gave up and slipped into the night. My focus drifted inward. And I stopped writing. And I haven't been inspired much since. That was years ago.

In an effort to get recharged, I went to the Christian Writers Conference in the Blue Ridge Mountains in May. A keynote speaker talked about the Parable of the Talents, but called it the Parable of the Story Ideas. He said that to some, God gives 5 story ideas; to some God gives 2; and to some God gives 1. In the Parable of the Talents, God was angry the last guy buried his talent in the sand and did nothing with it. God made him give his remaining talent to the guy who had 5 ideas, while he was left with nothing.

It made me realize what a poor steward I had been. I had been hiding my stories in the ground, doing nothing with them for so long. I am not sure if it was laziness or fear, or a combination of the two. Perhaps God had taken my inspiration away because I squandered it. I prayed that God would give me another chance to invest my talent and earn some interest, for Him.

I drove home from the conference and within 48 hours had the outline for a new book.

I am thankful God is a God of second chances.

Let it begin!