Monday, August 3, 2009

Story-time, excellent!

But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds. Psalm 73:28

So I am still struggling with writer's block. I am on vacation currently, sitting in a screened-in porch in the cool mountains, sipping coffee and trying to feel inspired.

Years ago, I used to write endless streams of stories about God. Now, I often feel I don't have many stories to tell. But I realized something today: For me personally, I need to be continuously writing to feel near to God.

One of my biggest desires in life is inclusion. Being included is the easiest way to make me feel loved, while being excluded is the fastest way to make me cry. I once took a test measuring our need for certain aspects of life. On the section for "inclusion", I scored a 12 on a scale of 1-10. The person giving the test told me, "You have such a high need for inclusion you will never feel included enough in this life. Only in heaven will you ever have all that you want." How is that for motivating a longing for heaven?

One of the ways I feel most included is when people share things with me, especially "insider information" - hopes, dreams, details, feelings, stories. I think it is the same with God. Way back when, I used to feel He shared so much with me. I felt like I was a part of His inner circle. And when God told me stories, I couldn't help but tell the story to someone else.

When my writing winded down, the stories seemed to taper off. I'm not sure if God stopped sharing because I stopped forwarding them, or He's still sharing and I'm not noticing. This is probable, since I often have my eyes and ears more open to stories when I am looking for my next story to tell.

Either way, I need to write. Because no matter the reason, writing stimulates the occurance of God's stories in my life, and God stories make me feel included, which makes me feel loved by God, with makes me feel near to God, which makes life "work". As for me, it is good to be near God.

The question now is how to start to write when I haven't yet got a story to tell. Hm...

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