Saturday, June 28, 2008

Endure the Beams of Love

And we are put on earth a little space, that we may learn to bear the beams of love. William Blake

I attended a nightly, weeklong prayer service last week at church. We learned each night about a different attribute of God. We focused on how big and powerful and majestic and holy He is in comparison to how small and sinful we are. We also took several days to look at His grace, mercy and love.

Now, as much as focusing on His power can make my knees shake, there is something even more offputting to me when learning about the latter facets of God. Because when I finally see myself for the miniscule mess I am, and then I begin to comprehend the awesome love of God despite my mess? Well, it hurts a bit. I feel a disconnect - my own ugly depravity juxtaposed by God's beautiful and constant love and mercy for me. I feel like I owe God for such unconditional gifts, but there is no way I can repay the debt. It can be offputting.

I think the very battle of what William Blake refers to as "learning to endure the beams of love" is what causes me so often to wander. To lessen the "pain" of His love, I can do one of two things: walk away from God to ease the feeling, or use it as motivation to become more like Him. Only a perpetual attitude of humility can allow me to draw near to such amazingly unexplainable love and rest in it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Isn't it hard to grasp, how something positive like "Love" can cause us to run away. We all do this; with people and with God. I enjoyed your thoughts, found when googling "endure the beams of love."